Anil came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.


He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe. 'Who the hell are you?' Demanded Anil,
'and what are you doing in my bedroom?'.

The mysterious Man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm Yamraj'.

Anil was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me
back straight away'.

Yamraj replied 'Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can
only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Anil was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house,
he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen, how
are you enjoying your first day here?'

It's not so bad' replies Anil, 'but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode'.

You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before'.

'Never' replies Anil

'Well just relax and let it happen'

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the
better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
happened to him... ever!!!



The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting

Anil, wake up you drunken bast***d, you're shitting on the bed'.

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A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday.

How? The other beggar asked.

First beggar: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.

I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-,

And enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money.

The Taj manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.

I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free

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Sekar (Calling his family from Amsterdam): Good Evening Mom and Dad. Where is my wife Sheela?

Dad: Just now I called her. She is on the way to home after taking our grandson Rahul from his school.

Sekar: Let us wait for her few minutes and we will start this discussion.
(By the time Sheela entered in to the house.. Sekar continue the meeting)

I hope you know the Agenda of the meeting which I had mentioned in the meeting request. Even though let me read out the agenda once again
1. Status update/Discussion on Last Week Action Items
2. Family Strategy
2. Rahul’s Education
3. Medical Insurance for Mom and Dad

I hope everyone have the printout of last week MOM (Minutes of Meeting).
Dear Mom can you please update the status of tasks which you are taking care of?

Mom: Sekar, I am taking care of kitchen module which involves making products like Sambar, Rasam, Curd Rice, Vegetable Biriyani.I am not comfortable in handling the tools for making Non Vegetarian products. You suggest some training in Hlite. However after making these products, I am giving to your Dad for Acceptance testing. Once he satisfied with the quality of taste, we pass it to Dining Hall. One more thing, I would like to share with you. As you have suggested during my appraisal discussion, now I have stopped crying while watching mega serials in TV

Sekar: Sounds Good.

Sekar: Now coming to Dad. Dad can you please update us?

Dad: Yes. My dear son. I have completed my tasks by paying the current bill and phone bill with in time.

Sekar: That’s good

Dad: But I couldn’t pay the premium amount of 9200.00 of the LIC plan which you had taken for tax reduction purpose.

Sekar: It doesn’t look nice dad. I have sent you the amount already and given clear instructions.
Can you explain to me what went wrong?

Dad: On Tuesday night suddenly one of our team mate (your mom) fell down on the floor when she was running to catch Rahul. Then we took her to hospital and spent that amount for her medical expenses.

Mom: Sekar, I would like to add on what your Dad said, that was true. I got heavy injury in my legs and I was in hospital for two days. So now we don’t have money to pay for the premium.

Sekar: Sheela..! Would you aware of this? As a home lead, I expect you to track these issues and send it to me on daily basis. What are you doing (With stress on ‘doing’) after coming from college?

Sheela: Will do it Sekar. You know that the college, I am working is very far from our home. Every day I come back home at 6 pm and sit with Rahul for assisting him for doing his home work.

Sekar: Ok. Coming to second Agenda point .Due to this financial crisis we need to change the strategy of running our family. I am looking for your cooperation in the following cost cutting activities. I want to see the cost benefit of 40 % in this month budget after implementing this
ü Asking servant maid to leave her job
ü Stop ordering Pizzas for dinner
ü Avoid Tooth paste and use Neem sticks/Banyan Tree Sticks
ü Switch on TV only for watching Sunday Movie and Friday Oliyum Ozhiyum(Well known program for film songs in Podigai TV)
ü Wise to listen news from our near by portion when they watch news in TV
ü Every Saturday visit our relative’s homes and spend the whole day including break fast, lunch and Dinner
ü Don’t invite anybody to our home. Sunday our relatives might come to our house. Just lock the door outside and do your work inside silently.
ü Everybody assemble in adjacent street Perumal temple on Sunday for breakfast. They provide ‘Pongal’ as ‘prasadam’ which is good in taste
ü Sheela stop going for gym and Yoga class. Use Attural (Made up of Stone for making Dosa /idly dough), Ammikal (Replacement of Mixie) instead of grinder and Mixie. Mom please give KT to Sheela about this.
ü Don’t buy excess of things and store it in Fridge. Use big Mud pots for cool water.
ü Everybody go to bed early around 6:30 pm. Ask Rahul to do his homework when he comes back from school immediately during the hours sunlight is available. If not ask him to read under street light. He will become like Lincoln (Former US President) one day.
ü Use as much of cycle for transportation to near by places(It will help you to reduce fat and Cholesterol content)
ü I know you are eager to watch latest release ‘Vaaranam Aayiram’. Don’t plan for that. Wail till next year Diwali to watch the same movie in Kalaignar TV

If you have any clarifications contact Sheela@kitchen

Coming to third Agenda point. Sheela, can you please update me about Rahul’s Education. In which standard he is studying? Whether he got any double promotion? He was writing annual exam for third standard when I was leaving for Amsterdam.

Sheela: Sekar, I am bit worrying about his education. I have tracked his efforts, schedule in our OHM+ tool. I found 20 % in Effort variance and 35 % in schedule deviation. His learning curve goes down in the control chart which you can see in the report, I have sent you yesterday.

Sekar: Thanks for your measurements. I will review the report and we will discuss it on next week’s call. I have a client meeting now. So we will discuss the third agenda item next week. Mom and Dad.. can you please drop out from the call. I wanted to talk to Sheela about few personal things and Dad, don’t forget to circulate the MOM to everyone.

Sheela: Hello Sekar..

Sheela: Hello…Hello…

Sheela: Hello…

<Tring…Tring….Tring…Line Got Disconnected>

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The Perfect Boss

There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.

His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"

The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM.

Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss, He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home.

Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry”. The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about Children ??"

Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition "


What had really happened was ...

The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM.

He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition.

So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition. The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..? ••


He was none other than

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Former-President of India . . .••

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's another morning......... Again I have to go to the office.

Ohh!! this is me... I shouted, having a glance at my ‘photo’ in today's news paper.

But what the HELL is it doing in the death column??

Strange...

One second.......Let me think, last night when I
was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest,
but I don't remember anything after that, I think
I had a sound sleep.

It's morning now, ohh....... It's already 10:00 AM,
where is my coffee?

I will be late for office and my boss will get a
chance to irritate me..

Where is everyone...??? I screamed.

"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me
check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying......

But why are some of them crying....

WHAT IS THIS??? I’m lying there on the floor...

"I AM HERE" ....... I shouted!!! No one is
listening.

"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" .... I screamed once again!!
No one is interested in me.

They all were looking at me on the bed.

I went back to my bed room.
"Am I dead??" I asked myself...

Where is my wife, my children, my Mom, my Dad, my
friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were
crying...still trying to console each other.

My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.

My little kid was not sure what happened, but he
was crying just because his Mom was sad..

How can I go without saying to my kid that I
really love him,

I really do care for him. ??

How can I go without saying to my wife that she is
really the most beautiful and most caring wife in
this world..??

How can I go without saying to my parents that I’m
what I am ... just because of you??

How can I go without telling my friends that
without them perhaps I would have done most of the
wrong things in my life... thanks for being there
always when I need them...and sorry for not being
there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and
trying to hide his tears....

Oh.... he was once my best friend, but a small
misunderstanding made us part, and we both have a
strong enough ego to keep us disconnected.

I went there..... And offered him my hand, "Dear
friend.... I just want to say sorry for
everything, we are still best friends, please
forgive me."

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is
still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even
then!!!

I really don't care for such people.

But one second...... It seems he is not able to see
me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.

My goodness...... AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like
crying...

"OH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE
DAYS..."

I just want to make my wife, my parents; my
friends realize how much I love them.....

My wife entered the room, she looks beautiful.

"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.

She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard
these words because I never said this to her.

"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzz...

I cried...

One more chance please... to hug my child, to make
my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud of me
at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends
for everything I have not given to them, and
thanks for still being in my life....

Then I looked up and cried!!

I shouted.......

"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she
gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I was sleeping....

Ohh that was just a dream....

My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...

I hugged her and whispered....

"YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE
IN THIS UNIVERSE..... I REALLY LOVE YOU, DEAR"

I can't understand the reason of the smile on her
face with some tears in her eyes, still I’m
happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE."

SO, now it's not late... Forget the egos, the
Past... and express your love to others.......

Be friendly...

Keep smiling...... forever....It is another chance
For you...

Please let us do things more sincerely...

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lolz

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